An Atypical Love Story

Short Fiction, by Aaron Romero.

"He is asleep. Though his mettle was sorely tried,
He lived, and when he lost his angel, died.
It happened calmly, on its own,
The way night comes when the day is done."
~ Victor Hugo, Les Misérables, 1863

1

"You lose again." Three simple words filled Norman’s head as he hung up the phone on a warm August night in Austin. The sun was setting, and the sky shone in a brilliant golden orange hue. The firey sun was setting on the horizon and it seemed like something out of a painting. He looked out the window as the cars passed by on the freeway, their busy lives carrying on as usual. The world was not a different place, but Norman’s world had just collapsed. The sun continued to set in that Van Gogh sky, and Norman just sighed, too stunned to even cry.

"You lose," he repeated aloud. Norman’s head scanned the room, looking to see whether or not someone had heard him, although he knew he was alone. He noticed this and sighed, dismissing this event as a nervous reaction, something he had learned over the past six years. His roommate was going to be down at sixth street, bar hopping until at least three in the morning. Norman silently scolded himself for worrying about eavesdroppers. He hated that about himself. He wished that he was not so insecure, but with the constant reminders in his life reassuring him of his insignificant place, he could not help but feel tiny. Norman began to hate waking up in the mornings. He wished that he could sleep the day away, but he knew that with sleep came dreams, and he found that lately his dreams had been just as hellish as his reality.

"Nobody’s listening to you, stupid," he said, with a disgusted smirk on his face. Nobody wants to listen, he thought. He was always afraid that someone would hear him thinking aloud, and even when he met Liz in high school, he was afraid that she would hear him. He wasn’t afraid of someone thinking that he talked to himself, but rather, it was his thoughts that he protected. What he thought might seem stupid to others, and he wanted desperately to remain acceptable to others.

He thought of Liz constantly, day in and day out. He seemed amazed that she was attending NYU, partially because he’d never been so far away from home as New York. Norman assumed that she was out in the village, walking with Doug. Liz and Doug. They were inseparable, a pair of "like minded individuals". Liz and Doug just seemed to click, Norman had learned during the only five minute phone call she had time for in July. Norman scolded himself again for calling her.

"If she has time to talk, or even wants to talk, she’ll call you, " Norman thought. He picked himself up off the bed and walked over to his desk, where a framed picture of Liz sat. He slowly grabbed the frame and held the portrait up so that he could see it more easily. A single tear slid down his face as he gazed at his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend, he silently corrected himself.

Norman picked a small black velvet box off of his desk, and flipped the lid open. Inside sat the six thousand dollar engagement ring he planned on giving to Liz. He remembered how hard he had worked for that ring. He passed up a newer car for it, and held two jobs at the university and one at a local law office just to pay for it. He remembered being so proud of himself as he walked into an upper-class jeweler's shop to buy his little treasure. He also remembered how they had treated him in that shop.

"I don’t want to buy any fruit from them. I wish they’d stop coming in here," the sales clerk said to a customer.

"Yo no quiero nada," the clerk said in choppy Spanish with the worst accent Norman had ever heard.

"I wish these dirty Mexicans would just leave us alone," the clerk continued. The customer made some off color remark about Hispanics as well, but Norman could only remember the rage he felt for the clerk.

"Those dirty Mexicans are what keeps this town alive. This dirty Mexican would like to buy an engagement ring. Of course, I’ll leave, if you prefer," Norman said clearly, without a trace of the slight Spanish accent he carried for years.

The clerk was taken aback, Norman remembered. He received the most courteous service after the incident. The ring was no good to him now. It couldn’t go back to the shop. Norman would not allow himself to return there. Even if he did, the ring could not be returned. Store policy. Another tear streamed down Norman’s face as he stood silently in the middle of his room. This is not what I had planned, Norman thought. He had counted on returning to El Paso for the summer, and proposing to Liz there on the football field of the high school where they first met. Of course, Liz couldn’t return to El Paso. Not after she had met Doug.

"He is the absolute greatest," she said. Doug the TA. Doug who had so much going for himself. Doug who hoped to be a professor at NYU himself.

"He needs help working on his master’s thesis. I’m going to stay and help him. You have to understand, Norman," she scolded him over the phone.

"What about me," he asked. "You’ve got so much to give to Doug, and nothing for me. When am I important? My life revolves around you. When will you at least acknowledge my existence?"

"You’re so selfish. When do you ever think about anyone else," she lashed back.

"Yes. When do I ever think of anyone other than you? When do I care for anyone else," he retorted. "I give everything to you, and you wad it up and throw it back in my face."

There was a long pause.

"I haven’t seen you in over a year, Elizabeth," he said, finally breaking the silence. "Right now, I’m so jealous of Doug. He gets to see you every day. I last saw you in June of last year. When will it be my turn?"

Norman was nearly sobbing into the phone as he poured his heart out to her over the phone. Once again, there was a long pause.

"Norman... I... I can’t..." And then the connection went dead. He remembered sitting in his room, holding the phone, waiting for her to finish her sentence. See how easily she can just hang up on you, he thought. Must be convenient.

"Can’t tear myself away from Doug," Norman thought, completing the sentence Liz began as he returned to the present. Norman placed the picture and the box back on the desk, and walked to the window. He looked down on the people walking below and began thinking to himself. He sang softly to himself. Through choking back tears, he managed to squeeze out the words to his favorite Tom Petty song, Wake Up Time.

"You’re just a poor boy... a long way from home.... you’re just a poor boy..." Norman looked out the window and wondered if he would die if he fell from the window. Only Three stories up, he figured he’d just break his back and be a suffering cripple for the rest of his life. Throwing himself out the window was not an option.

Suddenly, the phone rang. the sound was deafening to Norman. He turned and walked toward the bed and picked up the cordless.

"What are the odds," he thought.

Realizing that he was being optimistic, Norman immediately dismissed that thought and figured that it was just Wes, his roommate. Norman remembered that he really shouldn’t have loaned his car to his lush of a roommate, but Norman wasn’t very concerned about the car at the time. He pushed the talk button and spoke.

"Wes if you need more cash, there’s a small envelope in the trunk of my car. It’s the cash i was gonna use for New York tickets, but you can use it, I guess," Norman blurted out without even waiting for Wes to respond.

"Norman?" It was a female’s voice. It was Liz. "Norman," she repeated.

"What else do you plan on doing to me, Liz," Norman said. "If you don’t mind, I think I’ve had enough life shattering information for today."

"Norman, I’m sorry," she said. "I really didn’t mean to hurt you this way. Things just sort of..."

"I know. Things just sort of happened," He interrupted. "I know how this story goes, Elizabeth. It’s the story of my life. I’ve heard it many different ways, but the plot’s always the same."

"Why were you going to come to New York," she asked, seemingly not interested in what he had just said.

"Do you really love him," Norman asked, returning her the favor.

"Yes, Norman. I do, " she replied, almost ashamed.

"Do you think he’d be interested in a six thousand dollar engagement ring," Norman asked. "I’ve got one that I can’t get rid of. Maybe he’d like to give it to you. Lord knows it would look better on you if he put it on your finger, instead of me."

"You were coming to New York to propose?"

"What the hell does it matter anymore? I don’t think I’m going anymore. Why, would you like the ticket money, "he asked. "You know. that’s a great idea. The rest of the world shits on me; you shit on me. I think that you deserve a consolation prize for all your hard work It must not be easy destroying other people’s lives."

"Norman, why do you always do this..." she began.

"No Elizabeth. Why do you always do this to me?"

"You know that’s not true," she said, pausing.

"Ever since we met, you’ve tucked me away like some little retarded child you didn’t want the world to see. something to be ashamed of, " he said. "It’s pretty pathetic when you can’t hold your girlfriend’s hand in public or even hug her when the two of you part because she doesn’t want others to see."

"Norman.... that’s not true. I was only trying to protect what we have. I didn’t want anyone else to ruin our relationship, "she said.

"Including me, apparently," he shot back. "You don’t want me in the relationship, and that’s why you hid me for so long. I was just your boyfriend of convenience. Someone to talk to when you were lonely, or someone to say ’I love you’ over and over when you felt down."

"Norman..."

"How dare you lie to me this way, Elizabeth, " he sobbed into the phone. "How dare you raise my hopes and then break me like a stupid animal. I know now why you always whispered ’I love you’ to me; you really didn’t want to hear yourself say it out loud, either."

"Norman... I don’t know what to say," she stammered.

"Liz... if you had only loved me like normal people do... with affection and kindness, or even if you had just told me from the start that you didn’t really love me..." he trailed off. "If only you had, I would be so happy to see you off in greener pastures. I know who I am and how useless and stupid I must seem. I would have been so happy if you hadn’t lied, Liz..."

He knew in his heart that it was a sin to want to keep her to himself. Wonderful people like her don’t just come along everyday, and here he was crying over her departure, when it should have been something he should have expected from the start. The way she used to love him in the beginning was amazing to him. He never felt wanted before. Laughed at and abused, he had always remained a simple boy with a big dumb heart. As the unreturned phone calls mounted, and the little signs of affection that he left for her went unnoticed, or maybe uncared for, it placed a burden on his back and a pain in his heart so great that he was simply broken.

"Elizabeth, "he began. "I know this won’t mean a thing to you, because I know you didn’t call to ask for permission, but I want you to leave me. I want you to go and be happy with Doug, and make him feel like a wonderful person. If he captured your heart, then I am sure that he must be the greatest man alive. I want nothing but the best for you, Elizabeth, because I love you so much. Just remember that I will always love you, and regardless of how much you think you hurt me, or how long we go without talking to each other, I will always be your friend. Never forget that. I will always be here for you. Now go, be happy, and never worry about me again."

Norman began to sob uncontrollably into the phone. He slowly fumbled with the phone, searching for the off button. He pushed it, feeling as though he would never speak to her again. It was the hardest decision he had ever made.

Thousands of miles away in a dorm room in New York’s Greenwich village, a single tear streamed down Elizabeth Cervantes’ face, as her new found love Doug sat only feet away. She cried not so much for Norman, or that she was losing a friend, but more so because she never knew that Love could run so deep. She was totally unaware of how devoted Norman was, and it pained her to think that she had so violently uprooted a love of that nature.

"What a jerk," Doug began. "I could hear him crying from over here. he’s just trying to hurt you, Liz."

"Shut up, Doug," she whispered.

As Elizabeth sat silently on her bed, in her dorm room, just as Norman did so far away, she questioned her own integrity.

"How could I hurt someone that badly," she thought. "How could I destroy someone like that."

It would be a long time before she would see Norman Peña again.

2

After Norman and Elizabeth said their good-byes, life went on. For Liz, it meant a new life with Doug, an amazing man who seemed to fit every one of her desires perfectly. They shared the same interests, fought the same battles for noble causes, and enjoyed each other’s company tremendously.

Doug had always wanted to join the Peace Corp, and Liz was right there with him, ready to join. Doug wanted to travel to Europe to write. She wanted to be by his side. She wanted to be a part of his life. She wanted to marry him.

"I want to travel with you and be with you always," she said to Doug during one of their conversations about the Corp. This was the life she had been waiting to live for so long. It was peace and serenity for once. No more worrying about finding time to reluctantly make a five minute phone call to Austin. No more fights, no more listening to endless crying on the phone. There would never be an obligation to send an occasional email. For Liz, this was the best she’d ever felt. She did not feel guilty for what she had done. The more she thought about Norman, the more inadequate he seemed to be compared to Doug. "Now," she thought, "I am free."

She missed Norman every once in a while, though. Despite all of his shortcomings, he always seemed cheerful around her. He couldn’t stop smiling around her, and could not help gazing at Liz for what seemed like hours. He was kind, and sent her flowers for no reason all the time. Even when she moved to New York, he never stopped sending the flowers. Every week, a new bouquet of roses would be waiting for Liz at her dorm room. Doug never sends flowers, she though suddenly. She dismissed this thought immediately, though.

"Norman only sent the flowers to make up for his weaknesses," Liz caught herself saying aloud.

After the incident, there were no more flowers at her dorm. There were no more surprise "I love you phone calls" or presents for every anniversary Norman could think of. Norman suddenly disappeared from her life, and she occasionally found that she missed the attention. On the contrary, she seemed to be giving all her attention to Doug. She found herself doing his laundry and working on his term papers while he worked on his master’s thesis constantly. Liz missed being the center of someone’s attention. She also missed how accepting Norman was of her. He never argued with her, because she was a goddess to him, and therefore always right. Doug rarely agreed with her when they got into intellectual debates. He always said that she didn’t know anything, and that she was just a sophomore working for her B.A. This immediately silenced her during any arguments or debates.

Norman’s life was by far more difficult. After that night in August, he began to break down very slowly. His classes were the first to go. Once a bright and gifted writer, Norman began to suffer a tremendous blow to his talents as a student. His English professor was especially astonished by Norman’s fall. Out of kindness, Norman’s instructor, who once hoped for Norman to join the staff at UT, withdrew Norman from his English course. His professor went so far as to request the same from all of Norman’s instructors. This saved Norman from ruining his academic standing. As a poor student, Norman was attending UT on a scholarship basis. Norman would have had every scholarship revoked if his professor had not acted out of concern. The university frowns upon students on academic probation.

After Norman was notified of his academic standing, he packed up his things and moved out of the university dorms. One weekend, he just left without explanation. Norman simply said good-bye to his roommate Wes, and walked out the door. He moved into an apartment, where he could finally be alone. It looked out on the freeway, and he began to dream that Liz would be in one of those cars, driving to him, coming to say that she was sorry. He imagined that he would apologize for all of his failings, and that she would love him forever.

He cried for Liz every night he lived there. His dreams were becoming more horrifying, and he began to suffer from insomnia. In all actuality, he just didn’t want to go to sleep. The dreams brought on too much pain. His days were filled with agonizing loneliness, and his life began to crumble.

One night, Norman dreamt that he was at a wedding. Beautiful white flowers were everywhere, and he imagined that this was the perfect picturesque wedding that he had hoped for himself and Liz. Norman was standing at a great door, watching the people busily bustling about, preparing for a great event, when suddenly Liz appeared.

"I’m so glad you could make it," she said as she walked hurriedly past him. He looked at her, and he realized that she was the bride-to-be, and looking down at himself, that he was merely a guest. Norman watched in horror as the ceremony began, and Liz was married to a faceless white man.

He woke weeping, the tears running down his face. He assumed that the faceless white guy was Doug. Norman had never seen Doug, nor any pictures of him, so he remained a faceless person. Norman imagined that he was ugly and rude, just like the clerk at the jewelry store. He hated Doug.

Needing to eat, Norman began working full time at the law office where he formerly worked just weekends. Norman’s clerical work began to suffer, though. Files were handled incorrectly, and some were even lost. The firm risked being sued for malpractice on account of Norman losing a crucial audio tape. Out of sympathy, the partners kept Norman on, his suffering gravely apparent. Norman worked on, and apologized after every warning he received for sloppy work. In his heart, he knew he didn’t want to work any more. He truly want to curl up and die.

One morning, Norman walked into the office top find Ivy, second in command at the firm, sitting in his cubicle. She was flipping through his file cabinet, looking at all the work he still hadn’t finished from last week. "Damn," he thought, "and I’m half an hour late, too."

Ivy stood up. "Norman," she began, "I’ve been talking to Noel, and we’ve come to a decision."

Noel was the senior partner at the firm, the founder, and one of the richest and most famous lawyers in Texas.

"I think you’d better take a seat." This meant trouble. "We just can’t tolerate these kind of mistakes anymore, Norman, " Ivy said. "You’re a good kid, and Lord knows I love you to death, but you can’t keep going on like this. I mean, look at all this work! You’ve set David back weeks. Yesterday, he had to ask for a continuance because you don’t have your shit together."

She curses a lot.

"Ivy, I’ll try harder," he stammered. "I don’t want to work for anyone else but you, Noel and David. You are all the family I have here in Austin, and I don’t want to lose you."

She shook her head. "I wish I could believe that, son," Ivy continued. It was strange hearing her call him son. She was all of 8 years older than he, but her marriage to Noel, who was pushing 60, seemed to give her an air of superiority.

"Noel and I just don’t think that you can handle this job anymore. Face it, Norman, your spirit is gone. That passion you used to have around here is just… missing," Ivy said. "You used to run around this office like a bolt of lightning, but now, you’re dragging yourself from duty to duty."

She sighed at him. "We both know that you don’t want to work here any more. I don’t know what happened in your personal life to change you so much. I had hoped that you were going to go back to school, but you haven’t. Whatever it is that happened, we just can’t have you carrying that around the office. We have no choice but to let you go."

Norman was stunned. He couldn’t breathe.

"Honey, we all love you here. Nobody wants to see you go, but I’m afraid you have to. Noel and I agreed on a severance package for you. Here."

She handed him a brown 10" by 12" envelope. It contained is last paycheck, a bonus check for his hard work, and a letter of recommendation from each of the senior partners, Noel and Ivy included.

"Noel and I also agreed not to fight the unemployment claim, should you choose to file," she continued. "If you need another recommendation, call us and I’ll personally vouch for you. I’m sorry, Norman."

He sat silently for a moment.

"I understand, Ivy. I’m just dragging the firm down, and I should go. Let me pack my things, and I’ll be on my way." She was silent as he stood and walked out of the cubicle.

He walked over to the supply room to grab a fold-up box. He packed up his desk, and placed the stainless steel frame with the picture of Liz and himself at their senior homecoming on the top of the box.

Norman walked toward the door, and Ana, one of the student secretaries stopped him.

"What’s going on, Norman," she asked, with a puzzled look on her face. After all, Norman had been voted the student employee of the month several times in the past two years.

"Ana, it’s been great working with you. Ivy let me go today. I’m doing the firm a favor by leaving. I’m no good here anymore."

Ana really liked Norman. The were close friends, and Norman always had lunch with her. They took their breaks together, and he talked incessantly about Liz when they would converse outside of the office. Ana had met Liz once at the office Christmas party during their freshman year.

They walked together down to Norman’s beat up old blue ’85 Accord, talking all the while. He opened the back seat, set the box down inside, and turned to Ana. He smiled at her.

"You hang in there," he said to her, "and I’ll see you around next semester. I’ll find work somewhere, and I’ll give you a call as soon as I’m able. Say hi to Mark for me." Mark was her boyfriend.

He kissed her gently on the forehead, sighed, and got into his car. It took three tries to get the engine started, but finally, he put the car into first gear and drove off.

Norman returned to his apartment that morning only an hour after he had gone in to work. He did not leave it again for many weeks. Through his savings account, He was able to keep up the rent for at least four months. He decided that after four months, he’d have a pretty good idea of what to do.

3

Sitting alone one Saturday afternoon in the apartment she and Doug now shared, Elizabeth Cervantes found herself feeling abandoned and quite lonely. Doug’s many months of struggling were finally over; his master’s thesis neatly typed (by Liz, no less) and submitted for review. Doug had turned his work in over a week and a half prior, and yet the affection-less relationship that he and Liz shared had not changed its course at all. In all actuality, now that Doug had more free time, he seemed to be increasingly spending longer hours away from Liz. She seemed to always need attention, he thought.

"She always wants me to be there to spend ever moment of my life there next to her," Doug said to himself on occasion.

Doug began to resent how pressured he felt to stay with Liz. Sure, she was beautiful. Dark brown hair perfectly framed her porcelain-like face with large brown eyes. Liz was also very caring and rarely though for her own well being. She was so dedicated to Doug, and she devoted a huge amount of her time to him. Despite all this, Doug felt as though he had a mountain of pressure to live up to. After a while, it began to drive him almost insane. He had to call her even if he was only gone for an hour, and when he had to travel to Jersey or Canada for conferences, she’d call him constantly. Doug had fallen out of love with Liz, and he only kept her as his trophy girlfriend. She was wonderful, and all of his friends on campus were jealous of him, but he hated his life with her.

He couldn’t bring himself to leave her, though. She still cared, and that did mean something to him. She finally began sleeping with him, after a couple of months worth of gentle pressuring. To Liz, this seemed to completely solidify their future together. Doug had different ideas, however. Although beautiful and caring, Doug though she was especially boring in bed. During their newly explored sexual relationship, both Doug and Liz had mutually agreed that condoms were a must for the two. Both of their lives would be destroyed if she were to end up pregnant or if either wound up with a disease of some sort.

One night after coming home late from a party, Doug and Liz, both highly intoxicated, decided to experience a night of drunken intimacy. In their intoxication, neither of the two remembered condoms or contraceptives of any sort. Their night of lust was only fully realized the morning after.

<<< >>>

Norman returned to El Paso only a month and a half after he dropped out of college. Quickly finding a job with the law office Fred Soforo on Montana street, Doug promised himself that he would begin life anew. For the first time since Liz had said good-bye to him, he felt like he could finally begin to live again. He felt incomplete without the love of his life, but he made up for this by throwing himself into his work. He worked full time, usually staying at the office long after Fred had finally succumb to fatigue. With enough credits from UT Austin, Norman became a certified paralegal to Fred. Norman was required to take an exam for the Texas Bar association, and through his new found dedication, Norman aced it.

Despite all of his wondrous achievements, Norman could not return home to face his mother. Norman was the last hope for his struggling family. His father lived somewhere in Mexico and was considered lost. Ricardo Peña worked for the PRI political party in Mexico and hardly ever visited the family in El Paso when Norman was in grade school. Only through rumors and strange phone calls did his mother Lupe find out that Ricardo had begun a new life in Mexico with a new wife and family, leaving her, Norman and his younger sister to fend for themselves.

Norman’s sister, Angelica, had a hard time dealing with the split. She began to carve up her arms with a pocket knife that Norman had given her once. She lost her focus at school and became entangled with skaters, cholos and just about every other miscreant at her junior high school. Angelica was caught smoking pot in the bathrooms with a couple of other girls. She was expelled from Ysleta middle school, where Norman’s family had traditionally attended. She currently lived with cousins in the northeast side of town, and attended Parkland high as a freshman. Norman’s mother had basically disowned Angelica, and wrote to Norman, encouraging him to do better in school.

"You have to make me proud, mijo," she always said. "With your sister Angelica out at Parkland, you’re all I’ve got left."

Norman didn’t have the heart to let his mother know what had happened to him at first, so he moved into an apartment near five points. He though that it would crush her if she ever knew what had happened at UT, so he simply never told her. However , soon after his arrival, he reasoned that his mother would be receiving returned letters from UT, so he quickly phoned her one afternoon and told her he was interning at a local law office for a year.

"Mom, UTEP is connected to the University of Texas system, so the work I do transfers to Austin," he said. "And besides, I’m taking classes at UTEP anyway."

Another lie. His mother seemed to accept his explanation, though rather suspiciously. Despite his mother’s uneasiness, Norman’s life seemed to be falling back into place. Norman worked diligently and was paid well for his experience. Norman never left five points, however. He lived in a roach infested apartment and every meal consisted of canned vegetables and an occasional can of spaghetti. Norman’s only major expenditures were for work clothes, so he would look respectable sitting next to Fred in court.

Every other dime that he didn’t absolutely need was sent to his mother. He visited his sister once in a while and convinced her to start rehab for the cocaine addiction she had recently acquired. He devoted his life to work and his family. Norman came home late from work, called his mother every night to make sure that the money he sent was being spent well, and that she was happy. Norman’s existence had a new meaning, and for the first time in months, he felt alive again.

4

"You lose," she whispered. A month and a half after Doug Cooper had left, Liz found herself crying in the deserted Greenwich subway station on a cold Saturday evening.

Her young and slender figure was now gone, replaced now by the beginnings of a pregnancy. Liz had nothing left. No money, no family to turn to, no where to go. With all the comforts of her previous life now gone, Liz felt like she had completely run out of options. Over the past week, she had spent the last of her savings, which covered the apartment rental for this month. Without food or money for a doctor, Liz knew that she’d have to find help.

<<< >>>

Doug was seething with anger when she finally told him. his life was ruined. How could he ever make anything of himself with a new baby to take care of, along with Liz, whom he figured he’d have to marry now.

"God damnit Liz! what the hell am I supposed to do now?!"

"I don’t know Doug, but were in this together," she cried. "It’s just as much your

baby as mine."

With that, Doug stormed out of his apartment. She didn’t know what to do, either, so she took a long walk down to Washington Square. Wandering past the small kiosks selling bracelets, beaded necklaces and the occasional product derived from hemp fiber, Liz’s mind raced. She had to think of something to say to Doug to appease him. She’d never seen him in a rage like that. Whenever he used to get mad at her, he would go on for hours, unrelentingly letting her know how stupid she was. This time, he was so angry, he actually had nothing to say, and she could see this very plainly.

She was gone four a good three hours, and when she had finally stopped crying, she walked home. Walking down the hall, she could see a large pile of boxes and clothing at their door. Walking up to the door, she realized it was all of her possessions. She didn’t notice the sawdust and the new lock on the door until she inserted her key into the door and found that it didn’t turn.

"Douglas," she screamed, sobbing. "Don’t do this to me. I love you."

She pounded on the door for nearly an hour, until a pair of police officers came up to her floor and asked her to leave. It seemed the neighbors, whom she though were her friends, cared little for her, and called the officers to get rid of her.

Finding a new apartment on Manhattan, even in the village, is a nearly impossible task. Liz immediately ran to some of her old friends, most of whom she began to ignore when she started dating Doug. Fortunately, they were still warm and receptive to her, and within two days, she had a new apartment all to herself, thanks to a connection from her friends.

Liz had no job, and only a few thousand in a savings account. This could only sustain her for a month or two. Like Norman, Liz came from a broken home. When her parents divorced, her brothers took to her mother’s defense, while she and her father lived alone together. Her mother was all but lost, and her brothers would die before helping her. She lost her last family connection when her father died while she was a freshman at NYU. Liz had no idea what to do. All of her friends were attending college on a shoestring budget. Nobody had any money to lend her, and she found that in about two months, she’d be homeless.

Liz found herself standing alone that Saturday in the subway station, wondering what to do. her resources almost completely exhausted, she knew that she would only survive about another week in New York. She decided to get help, so she walked home.

As much as it pained her, she turned to the last person she ever wanted to speak to again. The words that had haunted her for so long finally became a way out of her misery. She knew that regardless of how much it pained her, she’d have to go back.

"Just remember that I will always love you," he said. "And regardless of how much you think you hurt me, or how long we go without talking to each other, I will always be your friend. Never forget that. I will always be here for you. Now go, be happy, and never worry about me again."

Norman’s parting words echoed through her head, and they resounded loudly. What she feared would happen was happening: She was out on her ass, with no one to turn to, and the one person who cared for her more than his own life she was afraid to turn to. Liz had come to believe that Norman would rather see her dead than help her again.

Her first call was to Norman’s old dorm room. She had forgotten the number, so she had to dig deeply into her boxes of ledgers and old planners. There in the mess of her apartment however, she found her first planner from NYU.

"He doesn’t live here any more," Wes replied, a bit confused after hear Liz’s voice again. "Hasn’t been for almost a year. All I know about him now is that you fucked him up pretty bad. He wrote me once and told me that he’s doing all right back home. He moved away from his family and got his own place somewhere, but he’s still in El Paso, last I heard."

"Thanks, Wes. I’m sorry," she stammered into the phone. "I won’t bother you again."

"Liz," Wes began, "I know you and I never got along too well, but I want to ask you for a favor."

"What’s that, Wes," She asked.

"Well... you never had to see him move out like he did. I watched him fall to his knees and cry like nothing I’d ever seen, and it was the most horrible thing. Don’t hurt him again. He’s my friend, you know."

Click. An eerie silence filled the room. He didn’t even say good-bye. Liz thought she deserved being hung up on, though. She deserved worse, but was grateful that Wes had been as kind as he was. She made up her mind, that if she survived the next month or so, she’d visit Wes in Austin, just to thank him.

Liz suddenly realized that she’d have to call Norman’s family to find out where he was, and this terrified her. A tear filled and painful phonecall to Norman’s mother, who never found out about their breakup, produced the phone number to Fred’s office, where Norman was spending more and more of his time.

"Law office of Federico Soforo. This is Norman, how may I help you?" The voice she had not heard in over a year seemed as wonderful as ever.

"Norman..." she began, but then paused.

"Maam, may I help you," Norman inquired.

"Norman... I... I can’t..." she stammered.

He recognized her voice immediately, and in an instant was filled with the most intense feelings of joy, love and agony at the same time.

"Oh my God! Liz! What’s wrong?" he cried into the phone immediately.

"Norman.... I’m sorry." She tried to hold back the tears. It was no use. "I need help. He left me," she continued, before bursting into tears again. She briefly told Norman her story over the phone. "And I’m pregnant, " she finished. "He left me with his baby, and I have nothing..."

"Where are you, my love," he asked.

"In the village. In an apartment."

"I’m going to wire you some money right now, "he began. "hold on for a moment."

Picking up another telephone, Norman dialed Western Union and arranged for three thousand dollars to be sent to the local office in the village. Norman charged the transaction to the firm’s credit card, and after he finished, he realized that he’d probably lose his job. regardless of how hard he worked, Fred was not an understanding man. Even if Norman could repay the money (which he could get in about three days), Fred would never forgive him. Norman was tired of working so hard, and realized he’d made a good decision.

"I sent the money. They said you can pick it up in about half an hour," he said, returning to Liz on the other phone. "Is it a long walk?"

"It’s not. Thank you, Norman," she sobbed. "I’m so sorry."

"Please don’t apologize to me, Liz," Norman pleaded. "You have no idea how that breaks my heart."

"Thank you, Norman," she said. "You’ve saved me once again."

Norman needed time to think. He couldn’t just march out of the office and hop on a plane to New York. He had to make plans, and so he decided to take a long drive.

"Liz, I have to go now. I’ve preparations to make. Give me your number so I can call you back in a few hours," Norman said.

After taking her number down, Norman had a great knot in his throat. he knew what he wanted to say, but he was afraid to express his feelings.

"Thank you, Norman," she began, "you’re a saint."

"Hey Liz..." he paused. "Thanks. And you know what?"

"What’s that?"

"I love you, Elizabeth." He smiled

"I know."

<<< >>>

Sitting at the top of scenic drive, Norman looked out over El Paso at the Franklin Mountain state park. As he gazed at his hometown from the top of the mountain. Thinking his plan over and over in his mind, Norman decided that what he was about to do was very stupid, but worth it for love.

He walked back to his car and picked up his cell phone. It took him just twenty minutes to book one ticket to new York and two return tickets from Delta.

"Detective Paul Espinoza, please," Norman said has he placed his second phone call from the mountain.

"Paul. It’s Norman," Norman began, calling on an old buddy from high school "How are you? Good. Listen, I need a favor. I’m going to be in town in tomorrow, and I need you to find someone for me..."

<<< >>>

Norman ran up the flight of stairs to the El Paso airport terminal. At the security counter, he checked in one carry on bag, a cellular phone, four thousand dollars in cash, and one unloaded revolver with license that he was able to get a hold of in only a few hours. Working with the county legal departments finally paid off.

Four hours later, Norman was standing in the George W. Bush International Airport, in Houston. From a payphone, he called Liz

"Norman. What’s going on," she wondered.

"Hang tight. did you get the money," he asked.

"I did. Thank you Norman. I really needed that. I realized after we hung up that I didn’t have any money at all, not even for dinner."

"I’m in Houston, "he continued. "I’ll be in La Guardia in about four hours. I have a map of the village. What’s your address?"

Liz, always too proud, didn’t want Norman to see the deplorable condition of her apartment.

"We can’t meet here. I’ve got a roommate who needs the apartment today in the afternoon," she lied.

"Can you meet me in the Washington Square station in say, five hours, " he asked.

"No problem, Norman."

"Okay. Everything’s set. I have to run, or I’ll miss my flight."

<<< >>>

Three and a half hours later, Norman was sitting in a cab headed for Manhattan. During the half hour cab ride, Norman loaded his revolver and, on his cell phone, made final preparations. He called Paul and arranged a meeting place and time.

Finally reaching Madison Square Garden, Norman stepped out of the cab, tipped the driver well, and headed down to Penn station, under the garden.

Stopping at a newsstand, he bought a copy of the times and a bouquet of roses.

He headed toward the train station and bought a metro card from the booth operator in the station. Swiping his card through the turnstile, Norman walked into the actual station and headed toward his platform. Ten minutes passed, and his train finally arrived. Norman stepped into a train that headed toward SoHo and Greenwich, ready to meet with his destiny, hoping to fulfill a dream he’d been hoping to live for a long time.

<<< >>>

He was sitting alone in the station when she descended the steps. He stood up, ran to her and hugged her.

"I love you," he said, sobbing. Then handing her a bouquet of white roses, her favorites, he said, "I’m going to take care of Doug for you."

"What are you going to do, Norman, "she demanded.

"Don’t worry, Liz," he laughed "I’ve got a few friends in the police department who’re going to scare him for me."

They sat on a bench in the station, waiting and catching up on over two years of separation. She noticed how haggard Norman had become and how tired he looked. His hair looked like it was beginning to gray a tiny bit, and tiny wrinkles were beginning to form on his forehead.

Only waiting about twenty minutes, Norman looked over toward the entrance to the station as an un-uniformed police officer escorted an angry Doug Cooper down the steps to the Station.

"Thanks, Paul," Norman said quietly as he stood up.

"No problem, Normy. You want me to stick around?"

"Nah, I got it covered."

After the officer left, Norman, with his back to the train tracks, turned to Doug and said, "I’ve got a lot of friends in the legal business. I could make your life here in New York very difficult."

Norman chuckled to himself. "I can make it difficult for you in just about any major city you choose. I’ve got lots of connections."

"What the fuck do you want," Doug hissed at Norman.

"My," Norman began, "such articulate words for an educated man. Is that how T.A.’s in New York gain employment at universities?"

Norman walked over to Liz, who was still sitting and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small velvet box and dropped it in her hands.

"I’ve got something to ask you as soon as I’m done with him," Norman smiled.

"Angry because I got your girl, you stupid spic" Doug began. "You’re just a loser who can’t handle the fact that I fucked your girl. now she’s pregnant, and it’s not my problem anymore. You can have the cheap whore, I don’t need her."

With that, Doug turned around and headed for the stairs.

"I don’t have to stick around and listen to this shit," Doug continued. "I’m not afraid of you, stupid dirty Mexican."

Norman glared at Doug, and all the hate of his suffering, all the pain he felt suddenly poured out. Reaching into his inside coat pocket, Norman raised a revolver and pointed it at Doug’s head.

"I think you’d better stick around," Norman cautioned.

Doug, with his back to Norman, simply kept walking and shouted "Go fuck yourself."

Doug stopped dead in his tracks as Norman cocked the gun, which made an echoing click in the deserted subway station. He turned and faced Norman, eyes wide with fright.

"D..d..don’t do anything stupid," Doug pleaded. "I didn’t mean those things I said. I wasn’t thinking."

"Norman," Liz screamed. "Don’t! he’s just a worthless white piece of shit. You don’t know what you’re doing."

"I know exactly what I’m doing," calmly replied Norman.

"Yeah, shut up, you stupid bitch," Doug added, forgetting Norman’s passion for Liz.

Norman turned back toward Doug, his entire body filled with rage. His eyes narrowed and he lost all rational thought. Norman’s grip tightened on the gun, and he was ready to kill Douglas Cooper.

<<< >>>

Norman had never fired a gun before, and he would have found that he was a lousy shot. When he pulled the revolver out of his pocket and raised it to fire, he had no idea that his own life was about to end.

Squeezing the trigger tightly, Norman wanted to blow Doug’s head clean off. He missed completely, though. he never even came close to hitting Doug. Standing at the edge of the train platform however, the force of the shot rocked Norman backwards. Losing his balance, he fell, helplessly onto the tracks. 60,000 volts of live electricity, which powered the massive trains, surged through Norman’s body as he lay on the tracks. The power stopped his heart instantly, and within a matter of seconds, he was brain dead.

Norman’s love story, the love of his life, had ended in failure. He couldn’t even defend the honor of love properly, and for those few seconds before his life ended, lying on the tracks, Norman realized this. He also realized that he never asked Liz to marry him, as he had planned. Norman’s life ended suddenly and tragically, but the greatest loss of all was the end of his quest for Liz’s love. He lived for her, and in the end, he died for her, and never knew whether she cared or not. Norman was a failure, a complete failure, and he went to his premature grave knowing this.

Revision History

This story took two months to write. Only being worked on during times of stress, it was intended to be my emotional outlet. The story was inspired by many sources. I will attempt to list the more memorable ones here. Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, Miss Saigon, and A Pyromaniac’s Love Story. Dialogue was influenced by Carry Me Like Water, by Ben Aliré Saenz. Moral support from Walt Whitman, Robert Frost, John Donne, Victor Hugo and Nicholas Sparks. Special thank you to John Stovall for sparking my love of poetry, and to Robert Dahl for teaching me how to write.

The greatest thanks of all goes to Iliana Limón for teaching me what love is.

Dedicated to Iliana René Limón

Begun on Tuesday, June 17, 1997, while Iliana was in Flagstaff, Arizona for the Dow Jones High School Minority Journalism workshop. It was finished in the early morning hours of August 28, 1997..

"Noli me tangere, for Caesar’s I am, And wild for to hold, though I seem tame."
~ Whoso List to Hunt, Sir Thomas Wyatt

© 2003 Aaron Romero.
Made with Macromedia.